Thank you for bravely stepping forward to share this story. It's sobering. At the same time, it is critical to view world events through the lens of our shared collective trauma. We gain more ground in our understanding as events unfold and have more space to feel into emergent solutions.
The need for self reflection isn’t an exclusively male issue. Anyone can turn to bullying regardless of gender. We all need time to reflect in our hyper-productivity, to engage in introspection and cultivate empathy and understanding.
Yes, true - Hillary Clinton Ex. A, but b/c she had to learn to thrive in a male-dominated arena, right? All I know is that I've been doing climate trauma related work and spiritual work for decades, and it seems every time I find myself in such an affinity group of, say, 30 people, about 25 of them are female! It's like a law of nature, almost! Men in my culture (U.S.) don't get sent off to boarding schools, but are nonetheless conditioned in ways that cut us off from our hearts at an early age, and it almost always takes some kind of psycho-spiritual crisis for them to realize that and change. Matthew, with the CTS's participation of 100,000+ every year, I'd love to know how that kind of sample size breaks down along gender lines. I would bet it's 70% female, and would be shocked if it was anywhere close to 50/50.
I don't have the exact figure on the Collective Trauma Summit, but I'd say 85% female, at a guess, going on my estimate from participation in Thomas Huebl courses which are open without any application process. (In the Timeless Wisdom Training, where you have to apply, there were about 60 men in the European cohort, and 120 women. I assume there are many more women who apply, but the organisers boost the number of men to make it more balanced. Even then, it's still two-to-one women-to-men).
agree entirely. I will confess I felt more comfortable, as a man, writing about the male version. I feel a bit more cautious about opening myself up to criticism by addressing "toxic feminity". However, having experienced that energy first hand, I entirely agree, would be wrong to assume this is just about men. appreciate your thoughtful reflection. thank you.
This is a really interesting article. What struck me the most in that video between Mary Robinson and Sultan Ahmed Al Jaber is the conflict between dignity culture and honor culture. When Al Jaber gets defensive, he starts going on about how he "respects her" but won't "accept any false accusations". Why use the word respect when respect isn't what she's looking for, unless he's treating her as if she operates under the same paradigm? Whereas she's pushing for him to take personal accountability to change, which is a dignity culture kind of expression of value. In dignity culture, publicly making a concession to change enhances the credibility of the speaker, but not so in honor culture.
I admire the work you're doing and I hope that more leaders do take the time to reflect and remember to be human.
Yeah there's a lot there. It's an anthropological and psych theory. There are actually three classifications: dignity, honor, and face. Face being the East Asian style of communal culture, where humility and social harmony are important, and people focus on not being an embarrassment to their family/group. Whereas in an honor culture, violence and aggressiveness are more valued, and a man is expected to step up and deal with the perpetrator if a woman close to him is violated.
I'm curious whether there's a way to encourage inner work within these other frameworks, where it isn't necessarily valued in its own right (because individual self-growth is not a core value) but it still contributes to becoming wiser, more stable, and better able to deal with conflicts.
Thank you for bravely stepping forward to share this story. It's sobering. At the same time, it is critical to view world events through the lens of our shared collective trauma. We gain more ground in our understanding as events unfold and have more space to feel into emergent solutions.
The need for self reflection isn’t an exclusively male issue. Anyone can turn to bullying regardless of gender. We all need time to reflect in our hyper-productivity, to engage in introspection and cultivate empathy and understanding.
Yes, true - Hillary Clinton Ex. A, but b/c she had to learn to thrive in a male-dominated arena, right? All I know is that I've been doing climate trauma related work and spiritual work for decades, and it seems every time I find myself in such an affinity group of, say, 30 people, about 25 of them are female! It's like a law of nature, almost! Men in my culture (U.S.) don't get sent off to boarding schools, but are nonetheless conditioned in ways that cut us off from our hearts at an early age, and it almost always takes some kind of psycho-spiritual crisis for them to realize that and change. Matthew, with the CTS's participation of 100,000+ every year, I'd love to know how that kind of sample size breaks down along gender lines. I would bet it's 70% female, and would be shocked if it was anywhere close to 50/50.
I don't have the exact figure on the Collective Trauma Summit, but I'd say 85% female, at a guess, going on my estimate from participation in Thomas Huebl courses which are open without any application process. (In the Timeless Wisdom Training, where you have to apply, there were about 60 men in the European cohort, and 120 women. I assume there are many more women who apply, but the organisers boost the number of men to make it more balanced. Even then, it's still two-to-one women-to-men).
agree entirely. I will confess I felt more comfortable, as a man, writing about the male version. I feel a bit more cautious about opening myself up to criticism by addressing "toxic feminity". However, having experienced that energy first hand, I entirely agree, would be wrong to assume this is just about men. appreciate your thoughtful reflection. thank you.
This is a really interesting article. What struck me the most in that video between Mary Robinson and Sultan Ahmed Al Jaber is the conflict between dignity culture and honor culture. When Al Jaber gets defensive, he starts going on about how he "respects her" but won't "accept any false accusations". Why use the word respect when respect isn't what she's looking for, unless he's treating her as if she operates under the same paradigm? Whereas she's pushing for him to take personal accountability to change, which is a dignity culture kind of expression of value. In dignity culture, publicly making a concession to change enhances the credibility of the speaker, but not so in honor culture.
I admire the work you're doing and I hope that more leaders do take the time to reflect and remember to be human.
thank you for this illuminating response! I had never heard the distinction between dignity and honour culture -- feels very rich.
Yeah there's a lot there. It's an anthropological and psych theory. There are actually three classifications: dignity, honor, and face. Face being the East Asian style of communal culture, where humility and social harmony are important, and people focus on not being an embarrassment to their family/group. Whereas in an honor culture, violence and aggressiveness are more valued, and a man is expected to step up and deal with the perpetrator if a woman close to him is violated.
I'm curious whether there's a way to encourage inner work within these other frameworks, where it isn't necessarily valued in its own right (because individual self-growth is not a core value) but it still contributes to becoming wiser, more stable, and better able to deal with conflicts.
Meant to tag you, Matthew on this: https://x.com/BarnardPhoebe/status/1761503393015845267?s=20. Great title.
Phoebe, thank you so much for the share!!