I felt moved to offer the above video speaking on the topic of men, women and the Epstein Files. The below text serves to provide some more context.
Resonant World #177
Not long ago, I would have steered clear of embroiling myself in public commentary on the Epstein Files — preferring to limit any observations on current events to “safer” topics, such as the politics of the climate crisis.
But the appalling revelations in the files have posed questions that feel urgent to me on every level: As a leader of men’s work in The Resonant Man; as an advocate for collective and inter-generational trauma healing via this newsletter and the podcast What Is Collective Healing?; in my professional identity as a journalist and editor exploring new forms of trauma-restoring media; and in my personal life as a husband, father, uncle, brother, son, colleague, and friend.
The world of the “Epstein Class” — as it’s being called — feels remote, to say the least, from my everyday. (I write this from a crowded café in southwest London, not a private island or Gulfstream V).
But the mechanisms of power, complicity and exploitation revealed in the files don’t just rule the world of princes and billionaires. These patterns proliferate at every fractal scale — from the global to the personal. The subtler manifestations of these fractals may saturate our everyday experience so fully that we don’t notice anything untoward about them, if we notice them at all.
The crimes committed by Epstein and his network are unconscionable. But I’d be lying to myself and others if I were to claim that versions of the fractal patterns that allow men to objectify, betray, exploit or treat women with anything less than honour and respect haven’t been alive in me at times, too.
I don’t believe that I’m alone among men in feeling discomfort or defensiveness when I reflect honestly over some of my own past behaviours towards women. And I’m left wondering whether it’s this — perhaps unconscious — reluctance to stare too deeply into the mirror that the files hold up that’s left many of us so muted, both in public and in our private circles.
Because if there wasn’t a collective muteness among men, then there wouldn’t be a need for columns like this one scrutinizing the media’s coverage of the files by Eleanor Rose, Enablers Editor at the Bureau of Investigative Journalism. Rose — in line with other commentators — pointed out how quickly the focus had turned from what had been done to women and girls to questions over which powerful men wrote what to who, and which of them would lose their jobs as a result.
“These are all important points. But where does it leave women?” Rose wrote. “You could easily forget that this was a story — first reported in detail by journalists including Julie K Brown and Vicky Ward — about abused women and girls.”
Why are the stories of the women and girls — and exploration of the mechanics that allows abuse to happen — so quickly passed over?
And why has it been left up to women to point this out?
This isn’t to blame or shame. If I’ve learned anything from years of training with Thomas Hübl and team in the principles of healing collective and inter-generational trauma, it’s to respect our many-layered defence mechanisms, and acknowledge their intelligent evolutionary function — not try to override them or make them wrong.
Deep down, men know that we’re all shareholders in the system that allowed the Epstein abominations to happen, just as we’re shareholders in the systems driving climate breakdown, authoritarianism, war and other atrocities. We may not have consciously chosen to buy these shares — but we own them nonetheless. That’s not an easy reality to confront.
The responsibility falls to us to explore how these systems live in us — just as we live in these systems. We’ll then have more chance of recognising when we’re entrained in unhealthy collective conditioning, and more capacity to make new choices.
Becoming Resonant Men
Fifteen years ago, I suffered a personal and professional crisis that prompted me to embark on my current path of individual, ancestral and collective healing work. Though that episode felt like a crucifixion at the time, the metaphorical death-rebirth set me on a course of inner work and spiritual seeking that would later reveal with piercing clarity where I’d been out of integrity in my relationships with women and allow me to take at least some initial steps towards repair.
That path also led me to men’s work, and then the collective healing work I’ve been engaged in these past five years. I was too early in my own process to have anything much to say when the prevalence of abuse of women by powerful men burst into public consciousness via #MeToo. But I’ve since committed to helping to build what Thomas calls the “healing architecture” of spaces globally where we can begin to tend to our collective and inter-generational wounds, including those that leave men and women feeling like we’re marooned on different islands. Part of that work involves using my voice at times — however reluctant another part of me may be to engage in public.
It’s also involved meeting weekly with two fellow students of Thomas — both women — in a weekly “triad” for more than three years now. This is a core practice in our work — where each partner takes 15 minutes to share, as the others listen, then offer resonance in response to what they’ve heard. This has been a revelatory experience for me in terms of the precision with which we’ve been able to bear witness to the way ancestral and collective trauma arises in our daily experience. More than that, working with such dedication and consistency with two incredible women all this time has also radically enlarged the scope of my understanding of the territory where men and women habitually miss out on opportunities for connection, and how we might relate more skilfully instead.
This work in turn has informed The Resonant Man, the international men’s initiative I co-founded with Jacob Kishere, where cultivating our capacity to listen more deeply, speak more authentically and attune more clearly to our deeper selves — and to each other — is a core component of our annual arc. We’ve also opened spaces for deeper dialogue with women, including by staging a joint event with a women’s circle; convening an audience to explore how to defeat the porn industrial complex; and inviting a council of Wise Women Elders to support our process of working to become better men. (See below for details of our next event Rap Wisdom, inspired by our Month of the Spiritual Gangster).
We don’t — yet — have enough participants in our Sunday and Thursday men’s circles to flood the streets of London. But I’m left with the question of how women might respond if 100,000 men were to march through Westminster in a show of solidarity with the survivors of abuse — and to pledge to do all in our power to put a stop to it.
If any of this resonates with you, please drop a line in the comments or write to me direct.
Resonant Man Events: Rap Wisdom Artists Roundtable
The Resonant Man co-founder Jacob Kishere writes:
“I’m pleased to announce a special live event featuring Conscious Rappers, who bring decades of combined experience in Rap. The Resonant Man will bring together friends and artists who have deep insight into the power of the spoken word and music as consciousness-shaping transmission.
Rap culture often transmits shadowy energies, but it is a channel like any other. When we can access the power and potency of rap in service of visionary spirit, finding that form of speech that can best be described as prophetic, then we begin to change our own reality and the world.”
How to Join:
When: March 4, 2026 11:00 Los Angeles /19:00 London/20:00 Berlin
Where: Zoom
Format: Panel, freestyle dialogue, Q&A, Musical Showcase
Cost: Free, Donations Accepted.
If you found this post valuable, I’d be very grateful if you would consider becoming a paid subscriber, which confers membership of the Resonance Council of core supporters, and helps Resonant World to thrive. Thank you!
