Join Us Tomorrow: Finding Integrity in Relationship
An invitation to men and women to the fourth Resonant Man summer dialogue.
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Resonant World #101
What does it mean to “Find Integrity in Relationship?”
After holding three men’s circles as part of our Resonant Man initiative, we’ll be exploring this question in our first mixed circle for men and women this Sunday, August 4 at 7pm BST (11am PST / 2pm EST / 8pm CEST). (Free registration here).
We aim to approach this question with the humility of not knowing the answer.
When communication breaks down, believing we already know the answer (and the mind of the other), is often a block to a real breakthrough into dynamic connection.
Without the qualities of a deep listening, active and authentic participation, and a sense of not-knowing, the inevitable complexity of human relationship can fragment.
Sometimes, the breakthrough demands something we’ve never felt in ourselves, never expressed; a new place to stand or see from.
Real communication, for us, is founded on communion — a degree of shared presence which communicates vibrational information and realities far beyond mere words.
Indeed, to really commune in communication is to encounter; to really be with someone who is different to, and beyond, ourselves.
The inspiration and seed of this experiment is the recognition that something quite potent may be possible when we bring together the already-developing Resonant Man field, and many wise women from our network and beyond.
Medicine for Each Other
As individuals show up authentically, tune in together, and drop expectations about the other, something real can happen. We can — without instrumentally seeking it — find that we hold medicine and insight for one another.
The inverse of finding integrity in relationship is of course being out of integrity in all its forms: whether through conflict, miscommunication, or a loss of mutual trust, and so on.
We believe many, many men are inadequately supported or relationally resourced in matters of relationship.
Our forefathers, whether by circumstance or culture, were conditioned to ‘island’ themselves psychologically and emotionally from the world and other people. Many of us suffer the consequences of this — unequipped to support one another, communicate our experience, and many times believing that our stoic “islandedness” is a strength.
To go a little deeper, we can’t communicate what’s going on because we don’t have the words.
More precisely, we don’t have the quality of space needed to bring our experience into felt words.
The men around us were unable to be present to this limitation.
Because we can’t communicate our experience, we can’t actually see it — and herein lies the root of a great many of our problems.
Shared and Distinct Experiences
Women readers may have rightly observed that they too suffer inadequate relational support and integrity. We thoroughly agree: much of what makes men’s spaces like the Resonant Man valuable is true for women, and that’s why we strongly support wisdom-oriented women’s spaces. We believe the Resonant Man ultimately needs to meet the Resonant Woman, and foster her coming forth in whatever way he can.
At the same time, we are under no illusions that men and women share the same experience; there is a great deal of distinction. Part of our coming together is to understand also where our realities are both shared and distinct.
Lastly, we want to recognise ahead of the session that any exploration of ‘integrity in relationship’ is far more expansive than simply the relationship between men and women (or with ourselves and others).
Integrity in relationship is about our fundamental relationship to the whole; to divinity, God, and the deeper wells of wisdom on the earth. We’re curious to see how we may hold the practical, spiritual, and relational dimensions of this pressing theme.
This Sunday we are extending an invitation to resonant men and women to listen deeply and inquire together. During the session, we will experience a meditative attunement, develop the themes first with several invited women, and then explore the question collectively through small-group sharing, which will flow into a larger group dialogue.
To register, please click here.
We request attendees join with camera’s on in a space supportive of full participation.
We hope to see you there,
Yours in resonance
Jacob & Matthew
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Thank you Jacob and Matthew for this offering!
I was touched by the depth of sharing and felt a lot of resonance with what was shared in the first part.
Due to a prior committment I had to leave after the triad and would have loved to hear more from the male side. Thank you for the inivitation!
I won’t be able to attend at this time, but I wanted to acknowledge that feel a lot of juice around this work. Thank you (and all who are involved) for offering it and your humble exploration into it.